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First Word
Marriage today is presented to appeal to the “Lower
Instincts” of man instead of
the “Higher Instincts” which glorifies God. We have glamorized Adultery, Divorce,
loose marriage vows and same sex marriage as the
norm.
This Word study is to refresh and renew the
dignity, righteousness and intimacy of Marriage.
Definition
- Wikipedia; Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or
ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses
that establishes rights and obligations.
- The definition of
marriage
varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships,
usually intimate and sexual, are
acknowledged.
- When defined broadly, marriage is
considered a “cultural universal”. A broad definition
of marriage includes those that are monogamous, polygamous, same-sex and temporary.
- People marry for many
reasons,
including: legal, social, libidinal,
emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious.
- Who they marry may be influenced by socially determined rules of incest, prescriptive marriage rules, parental choice and individual desire.
- Webster; Marriage: The state of being married - To join in
wedlock as husband and wife – Intimately joined. – Husband; a male - Wife; a female. – Procreate; to produce or bring
into existence. NYOBS 18.05 Same Sex Marriage
Scripture
- Forbidding
Marriage
- Because of the “focused” preaching of the Gospel, Paul thought it best
not to have any encumbrances such as marriage, but he did not forbid it. Peter thought differently and was
married and took his wife with him on his mission trips. - Some men
through their own hypocrisy have made doctrines forbidding marriage.
Scripture rebukes this and labels it as lies. When I read this scripture;
I can’t help but think of the Catholic Church forbidding their Priest to
marry and the issues that this has caused. Scripture states Priest were
only forbidden to marry prostitutes and divorced women. – If Peter was the
first Catholic Pope; then by example they should be allowed to marry.
- Bible - Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman
and God. – After God made Adam he gave him a wife so that he would not
be alone, but have love, companionship and would be physically,
emotionally and spiritually complete.
- God
said –
when a man marries a woman they two become one flesh - God made Eve,
- Christ honored the Marriage
Covenant by attending a wedding and working His first miracle of
turning water into wine. - Wine is symbolic
of spiritual blessings, goodness, prosperity, abundance, safety and
health.
- In the
beginning –
God Himself instituted and ordained the family life. - God created
man both male and female and commanded them to multiply.
- An
awesome thought –
Through marriage, a man and a woman are permitted to be God’s instruments
in creating a new life; an immortal life that will live forever; somewhere.
1 Tim 4:2 – It was
grievously in error to forbid marriage
2 through the hypocrisy of men that speak
lies, branded in their own conscience as with a hot iron; forbidding to
marry, ASV
Levs 21:7 – Priest aren’t
to marry prostitutes or divorced women
7 They must not marry women defiled by prostitution
or divorced from their husbands, because priests are holy to their God NIV
Eph 3:14-15 – God
instituted the Family
14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father,
15 from whom every family in heaven and on
earth is named, ASV
John 2:1-11 – Christ
honors the marriage covenant
1 And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee ; and the mother of Jesus
was there:
2 and Jesus also was bidden, and his disciples, to
the marriage.
5 His mother saith unto the servants, whatsoever
he saith unto you, do it.
7 Jesus saith unto them, Fill the water pots with
water. And they filled them up to the brim.
10 and saith unto him, every man setteth on first
the good wine; and when (men) have drunk freely, (then) that which is worse:
thou hast kept the good wine until now.
11 This beginning of his signs did Jesus in Cana of Galilee , and manifested his
glory; and his disciples believed on him. ASV
Gen 1:27 – God created male and female.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the
image of God he created him; male and female he created them. NIV
Gen 2:22 – God made Woman from man’s flesh
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he
had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. NIV
Job 31:1 –
Marriage is a covenant
1 "I have made a
covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman? NKJV
Mal 2:14 – The Lord is in covenant with you and your wife.
14 You ask,
"Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you
and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though
she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. NIV
Gen 2:24 – Man and wife become one flesh
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. NIV
Eph 5:33 – Love and honor each other
33 Nevertheless do ye also severally love each
one his own wife even as himself; and (let) the wife (see) that she fear (honor)
her husband. ASV
Gen 1:28 – We are commanded to have children
28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be
fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it”. NIV
1 Cor 7:1-2 – You should
marry because of immorality
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good
for a man not to marry.
2 But since there is so much immorality, each
man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. NIV
1 Cor 9:5 – Cephas-(Peter) took his wife with him
5 Don't we have the right
to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the
Lord's brothers and Cephas? NIV
Wine - Rabbit Trail
Wine in general in the
scriptures is symbolic of spiritual
blessings, fruitfulness, goodness, prosperity, abundance, safety and health.
This symbolism is woven throughout the Old
Testament.
We are not made better by what we eat or drink or what
we don’t eat or drink.
It is not what goes into a man’s mouth that
defiles him; it’s what comes out.
Drinking alcohol is not the sin; drunkenness is
the sin - NYOBS 03.21 Beer, Booze & Bubbly
Ps 80:8-11 –
Symbolic of Prosperity
8 You brought a vine
out of Egypt
9 You cleared the
ground for it, and it took root and filled the land.
10 The mountains were covered
with its shade, the mighty cedars with its branches.
11 It sent out its
boughs to the Sea, its shoots as far as the River. NIV
Ps 128:3 – Symbolic of Fruitfulness
3 Your wife will be like a
fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around
your table. NIV
Gen 49:11-12
– Symbolic of Abundance and Health
11 He will tether his donkey
to a vine, his colt to the choicest branch; he will wash his garments
in wine, his robes in the blood of grapes.
12 His eyes will be
darker than wine, his teeth whiter than milk. NIV
1 Kings 4:25 – Symbolic of Safety
25 During Solomon's
lifetime Judah Israel Beersheba
Judges 9:13 – Symbolic of Happiness
13 "But the vine
answered, `Should I give up my wine, which cheers both gods and men, to
hold sway over the trees?' NIV
Ps 104:15 –
Symbol of Gladness
15 Wine that gladdens
the heart of man, NIV
Eccl 10:19 - Symbol of laughter and merriment
19 A feast is made for laughter,
and wine makes life merry, NIV
Isa 55:1-2 –
Symbolic of Spiritual Blessings
"Come, all you who
are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come,
buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what
is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me,
and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of
fare. NIV
1 Cor 8:8-9
– We are not Better nor Worse
8 But food does not
bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we
do.
9 Be careful, however,
that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to
the weak. NIV
Gal 5:19-21
– Don’t be a Drunkard
19 The acts of the sinful
nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;
20 idolatry and
witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition,
dissensions, factions
21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you,
as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God
Matt 15:11 – It’s what comes out of a man that defiles him
11 What goes into a man's
mouth does not make him `unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth that
is what makes him `unclean.'" NIV
Design
- Marriage is not
something that is drifted into aimlessly or swept into by a whirlwind of
passion. – It’s “For better or worse” - It requires serious thought of the
fitting together of two lives and the arduous responsibilities that comes
along with it, plus plugging into the working of God’s ultimate plan. - Acknowledge
God and He will direct your path.
- In God’s plan two
people are better than one – They can warm each other as well as help each
other. They are like two bears – Bear
and Forbear – Mutual kindness, consideration and forbearance
solidifies the home.
- Marriage was divinely
instituted that the man and wife should become one flesh.
- The two must
belong to the Lord; both worship the God of Abraham, Isaac and
Jacob.
- God will give them
one heart and one way to honor Him, that it will go well with them and
their children after them. – It’s a partnership that only death can
separate.
- The spouse selected
should not bring shame, but honor to the parents and family.
- Marriage is designed
for contentment and happiness, not wanting that they should
be alone.
- It is to be a source
of joy and satisfaction.
- Marriage is designed
to allow us to participate in the bringing forth of a new godly
creation.
- It avoids immorality
and provides an honorable and lawful relationship with one
spouse.
- It is sacred -
Marriage is symbolic of the union
between God and His own; the church.
2 Set your minds on things above, not on
earthly things. NIV
Prov 3:6 – Acknowledge God;
He will direct your path
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall
direct thy paths. KJV
Prov 30:18-19 – God will
direct the ways of a man with a maid
18 There be three things which are too
wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not:
19 The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a
serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way
of a man with a maid. KJV
Gen 2:24 – Become one flesh
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. NIV
Jer 32:39 – God will give
them one heart
39 And I will give them one heart, and one
way, that they may fear me for ever, for the good of them, and of their
children after them:
1 Cor 7:39 – A spouse must belong to the Lord
39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he
lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but
he must belong to the Lord. NIV
Rom 7:2-3 – Till death do
us part
2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to
her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is
released from the law of marriage.
3 So then, if she marries another man while her
husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she
is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries
another man. NIV
Gen 28:8-9 – Marry one that
does not bring shame to the family
8 Esau then
realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac;
9 so he
went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, the sister of Nebaioth NIV
Gen 2:18 – It is not good to be alone
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for
the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." NIV
Eccl 4:9-12 – God says TWO
are better than one
9 Two are better than one, because they have a
good return for their work:
10 If one falls down, his friend can help him
up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will
keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend
themselves NIV
Prov 5:18 – A source of Joy and blessings and satisfaction
18 Let thy fountain be blessed; and rejoice
in the wife of thy youth.
Mal 2:15 – God desires Godly children
15 Has not [the LORD] made them ONE ? In flesh and spirit they
are his. And why ONE ? Because he was seeking
godly offspring. NIV
1 Cor 7:2 – Avoid
immorality – Enter into the Marriage Covenant
2 But since there is so much immorality, each
man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband NIV
Isa 54:5 – God; the
husband of the Church – A sacred institution
5 For thy Maker is thy husband; Jehovah of
hosts is his name: and the Holy One of Israel is thy Redeemer; the God of the
whole earth shall he be called. ASV
More
than you want to know
Customs of Marriage – Rabbit Trail
- The primary
purpose of marriage in the ancient world was to reproduce
rather than have a special cherished one for companionship. – A lot was to
be considered; particularly was the wife healthy and could she bare
children; also the type of political alliance it would make. The
prevailing Jewish concept was that marriage was “the proper state” for a
man.
- Selection – Usually the
parents chose the mate for their son; one who would fit in with their clan
and work “harmoniously” with her mother in law who would pick up
the young girls training where her own mother left off; this often
developed into a deep and lasting bond.
- Courtship - Sometimes the son would suggest personal
preferences, but never allowed to date or even do lunch. – Chances were
good that he would not even see her face until the wedding day. The bride
might see him, but she always had a veil covering her face.
- Age – Most people lived
to a really old age; Issac did not marry till he was 40 years old and
Jacob was about 80. - The minimum age for boys to marry was 13 and the daughters
were 12. – If the husband was killed in war the wife could be re-married
to one of his kinsman and still bare children; this was know as a Levirate
Marriage.
- Women were concerned about
their skin, believing light skin was beautiful and avoided the sun only
working in the fields very early in the morning or late afternoon. – If
she became tan, she hid from public view.
- Love
–
In Old Testament times you did not marry the one you loved; you loved the
one you married. – Love began at marriage.
- Daughters who inherited their
father’s possessions had to marry within their tribe or lose their
inheritance.
- The “bride
price” paid
(Mohar) to the father was
agreed to by written agreement usually 50 silver shekels for a virgin and
25 silver shekels if she was divorced or a widow. - Instead of money;
Jewelry, animals, goods or services could be substituted. This was to compensate the father for
his loss of her services or it may simply have been given as a gift. Either
way the stigma was still there that the daughter had been sold; she had been bought. – Under
Mosaic Law a man’s cattle, slaves, children and wife were
considered his possession. This bride price was paid over and above
the gifts given by the groom’s family.
- Done
Deal
– The marriage agreement could only be voided through death or divorce;
there was no other way out; for a divorce the groom would have to pay double
the dowry to the wife’s father.
- Engagement (Kiddushin) was for a year which was considered normal
and constituted a part of the marriage.
During the engagement period they were considered married
although not living together; sexual intercourse could not take place
till after the marriage vows; Mary and Joseph were considered married. –
During the year, the groom prepared a place in his father’s house for them
to live and the bride prepared herself for him with lotions and perfumes
and adorned herself in her finest attire and family jewelry. – (There were of course some
exceptions of long engagements with marriage happening the same day)
- The
Wedding Party would set out about sunset with the groom as “the
center of attention” with his friends, attendants and musicians headed
towards the father of the Bride’s house where they met her and her party
of brides’ maids and attendants. – Together they would be led by torchbearers
through the town with music, dancing, shouts, joking, praises and singing.
– They would go to the Groom’s father’s house for the Wedding Supper
and continue to party there for seven days; sometimes as long as fourteen
days. – People would drop in and out as they could. Read
the parable of the “Ten Virgins”. Matthew
25:1-13
- The
wedding ceremony (Huppah) was
very brief; however the awaiting festivities were very elaborate. – The
ceremony was really about the “Groom”
taking the bride from her father’s house. – To refuse an invitation was
considered an insult – The guests were expected to wear festive clothes –
The couple was given crowns and referred to as king and queen.
- Consummation – The couple was
ushered into the bridal or nuptial chamber where the bride and groom
prayed and the marriage was consummated through sexual union as the guest
waited outside; once this was ANNOUNCED the wedding festivities continued
with love songs, speeches, games, jokes, music and a big feast
- The
marriage took place normally in the middle of the week usually
on Wednesday, so if she was found not to be a virgin, she could be taken
to court Thursday before the Sabbath. The bride’s family
was responsible for keeping the “virgin evidence” (blood stained bed
linens) on their wedding day in case the husband claimed she was not a
virgin.
- After
the birth of a child, the Hebrew practice
of sexual relations would be discontinued till the child was weaned; about
three years. – In the case of a male child, circumcision would occur
on the 8th day.
- Exemption
from Military duty was for one year during the engagement and through the
marriage so that the marriage would get off on a solid footing.
- Divorce - After the Hebrews
returned from exile, wholesale divorce was REQUIRED to purge the
nation of foreign wives to insure the purity of the Hebrew nation. Otherwise the Jewish tradition was to
discourage divorce. NYOBS 24.02 Divorce – A man could divorce
his wife, but a wife could not divorce her husband although many would
flea from unpleasant circumstances.
- Moses
on Divorce -
Moses allowed divorce only because of the hardness of the people’s
hearts. He did not command divorce,
but regulated an existing practice.
- Reasons
for Divorce -
Adultery or strong suspicion of adultery – Wife’s public violation of
moral decency – Her change of religion – refusal of connubial rights for a
full year. – Insulting her husband or father in law – if she had AIDS or
the like which prevented Sex.
- Not
Divorce - A man could NOT
divorce his wife if he “ravished” her before they were married. – nor
could he divorce her if she became insane or became an alcoholic or became
a deaf mute – Nor if she was taken away in captivity, because it was his
duty to ransom her.
- Alimony
-
The husband that divorced his wife was compelled to pay the wife her
dowry, and a certain amount of money of the property brought to him by the
bride or her parents at the time of the marriage.
- Custody
of
the children was given to the mother, but the father could claim custody
of the male child after six years of age. – The father was required to
“support” his daughters.
Num 27:8 – Inheritance can
go to the daughters
8 "Say to the Israelites, `If a man dies and
leaves no son, turn his inheritance over to his daughter.
NIV
Num 36:6-7 – Must marry
into the same tribe.
They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry
within the tribal clan of their father.
7 No inheritance in Israel
NIV
Did it my way
SAMPSON – RABBIT TRAIL
- Sampson was called by
God before he was ever born to take the Nazirite vow and be a judge over
- Although Sampson was a Judge in
- Sampson did not check
with God about Delilah; he only saw her outward beauty and wanted her. - Without
God’s guidance a holy wedlock can become an unholy deadlock.
- Sampson not only
intermarried with a Philistine woman, but she was also a prostitute;
bringing shame to his parents TWICE over. – However God was planning to
use this marriage for His own ultimate end.
- Thousands of
Philistine warriors could not bring Samson down, but one lone harlot
ensnared him. - This unholy marriage cost him his strength, his liberty,
his eyes and finally his life. – As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that
workin’ for you Sampson”.
Judg 13:2-5 - Sampson
called to judge before his birth
2 A certain man of Zorah, named Manoah, from the
clan of the Danites, had a wife who was sterile and remained childless.
3 The angel of the LORD appeared to her and said,
"You are sterile and childless, but you are going to conceive and have
a son.
4 Now see to it that you drink no wine or other
fermented drink and that you do not eat anything unclean,
5 because you will conceive and give birth to a
son. No razor may be used on his head, because the boy is to be a Nazirite,
set apart to God from birth, and he will begin the deliverance of Israel
Josephus 8:300 – Sampson
slew 1,000 - jaw bone of an ass.
300 Samson broke his bonds asunder and catching up
the jawbone of an ass that lay down at his feet, fell upon his enemies, and
smiting them with his jawbone slew a thousand of them, and put the rest to
flight and into great disorder
Josephus 9:301 – Sampson
became proud and vaunted himself
301 Upon this slaughter Samson was too proud
of what he had performed and aside that this did not come to pass by the
assistance of God, but that his successes was to be ascribed to this own
courage and vaunted himself, that it was out of a dread of him that
some of his enemies fell, and the rest ran away upon his use of the jawbone.
Josephus 9:302 – Samson
asked forgiveness for what he said.
302 But when a great thirst came upon him,
he considered that human courage is nothing, and bare testimony that all is to
be ascribed to God, and besought him that he would not be angry at
anything he had said.
Judg 14:3a – Delilah was
not of their race or faith.
3 His father and mother replied, "Isn't
there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people?
Must you go to the uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?" NIV
Judg 14:3b – Get me that
woman for me to be my wife
3 But Samson said to his father, "Get her
for me. She's the right one for me."
4 (His parents did not know that this was from the
LORD, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time
they were ruling over Israel
Josephus 11:306 – Delilah
was a harlot
306 However he at length transgressed the laws of
his country, and altered his own regular way of living, and imitated the
strange customs of foreigners, which thing was the beginning of his miseries;
for he fell in love with a woman that was a harlot among the
philistines; her named was Delilah, and he lived with her.
1 Peter 3:3-4 – Beauty
should come from within
3 Your beauty should not come from outward
adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry
and fine clothes.
4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great
worth in God's sight.
Judg 16:10 – Delilah was treacherous - a marriage made in Hell
10 Then Delilah said to Samson, "You have
made a fool of me; you lied to me. Come now, tell me how you can be tied."
NIV
Marriage Covenant
- The Marriage covenant
requires preparation of THREE
THINGS. - NYOBS 05.34 Blood
Covenant
1)
Prayer – Start early seeking
God for “His will” concerning your
marriage partner. There is three
involved in this covenant; a man; a woman and God. This is Holy covenant. – The servant of
Abraham relied upon the divine promise of guidance from God to
find a wife for Isaac and it was Love at first sight. – Ask according to
God’s will and He will hear you and you will have it. – It is God’s will that you find the right one to
marry. – Some marriages are made in Hell. – Seek first the kingdom of heaven
and all the rest will be added unto you.
2)
Seek Counsel – concerning the length,
breath and responsibility of this binding
“life commitment” – Wait on God, be patient, it may take some time,
maybe years – Jacob worked for seven years TWICE for the hand of Rachel and
they seemed to him as just a few days; his love for her was so great that when he
kissed her, he wept. Jacob loved, not only in word, but in deed. Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for
it. - Count the cost before the marriage merger – All the assets will be
combined as well as ALL the liabilities, so long as you both
shall live. – Pray, ponder and take the time that is required. NYOBS 24.02 Divorce
3)
Set the time and place - In a wedding you invite
friends, relatives and witness; those that will hold you accountable. – God is present
and is the witness to the Marriage Covenant. – Because of God’s presence, the
place you marry becomes holy ground. SELAH
Mal 2:14 – The Lord is the
witness to the Marriage Covenant
14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the
LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your
youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the
wife of your marriage covenant. NIV
Ex 3:4-5 – Holy Ground
4 And Moses said, "Here I am."
5 "Do not come any closer," God said.
"Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy
ground." NIV
Deut 4:26 – God is the witness of the covenant
26 I call heaven and earth as witnesses against
you this day
Matt 6:33 – Seek God first and you will receive the best as well
33 But seek first his kingdom and his
righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. NIV
Gen 24:7 – God will guide
you to your wife
7 "The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought
me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and
promised me on oath, saying, `To your offspring I will give this land'-- he
will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.
NIV
Gen 29:20 – Jacob work for
seven years to marry Rachel
20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but
they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. NIV
Gen 29:11 – Such was Jacob’s
love - he kissed Rachel and wept
11 And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his
voice, and wept.
KJV
1 John 5:14 -15 – Ask according to God’s will – He will hear you
14 This is the confidence we have in approaching
God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
15 And if we know that he hears us-whatever we
ask-we know that we have what we asked of him. NIV
Gen 24:67 – Love at first
sight
67 Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother
Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; NIV
Luke 14:28-29 – Count the
cost of the responsibilities first
28 "Suppose one of you wants to build a
tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has
enough money to complete it? NIV
Instructions from God
- The Church is the Bride
of the Maker. – The Maker is the husband of the Believer.
- Christ is the head of
the Husband and the Husband is the head of the Wife.
- Let Christ be the
head of your home; the unseen guest at every meal; the silent
listener to every conversation. – Keep and teach your family “The
way of the Lord”.
- A man that finds a
wife finds a good thing and will receive FAVOR from God.
- You should marry only
a believer or they will be a source of irritation and grief to your
family. - Interracial marriage
- Husbands are to have only
- Let your speech be
excellent that it not be condemned; seasoned with grace; bridled so as not
to offend. – Be sensitive to her needs and comfort her when
she is stressed.
- Wives are to love and
respect their husbands; exhibit self-control; be pure,
kind and busy at home and submit to their husbands as it
is fit in the Lord.
- Let your beauty come
from your inner self with a gentle and quiet spirit. not
from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold
jewelry and fine clothes – Dress modestly and decently – Do
good works
- You are to be women
worthy of respect; not a malicious talker, but temperate and
trustworthy in everything. – Let your virtuousness be a crown to
your husband; your worth will exceed that of rubies.
- Do not withhold your
bodies from each other except for a time of prayer, but then come back
together, otherwise Satan will get a foothold in your marriage. – Your
bodies belong to each other.
- Let your home be a
home of family prayer. – Recall the proverb; “A family that prays
together stays together”. – “A house without prayer is like a house
without a roof”. – Prayer is the mortar between the bricks of a home.
- When needs and sorrows
come; share your heart with the Lord in prayer; receive comfort.
- Children are a heritage and a
gift from God – Bless, provide and have compassion for them – Pray for
them, and chasten them, but don’t provoke them to anger – Take them to
church – Teach them the ways of God, generation to generation – Command
them to obey God’s Laws. Teach them right from wrong - Do not withhold
discipline from them, it will save their life. Discipline them with spankings – God
disciplines his children.
- No man lives unto
just himself; his influence is never neutral – He sows either evil or good
seeds that influences future generations. – Pour out good seed for
spiritual blessings on your children. – Leave them an inheritance – Make
your home a place of refuge for them.
- Children honor your
mother and your father so that things will go well with you will you will
have a long life.
HUSBANDS
Isa 54:5 – Our Maker is
the husband of the Believer
5 For your Maker is your husband - the LORD
Almighty is his name NIV
Prov 18:22 – Find a wife
and receive favor from God
22 He who finds a wife finds what is
good and receives favor from the LORD. NIV
Mark 10:7-8 – The Husband
shall have only one wife
7 For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife,
8 and the two will become ONE flesh.' So they are no longer
two, but ONE . NIV
Titus 1:6 - Husband of
only one wife
6 An elder must be blameless, the husband of
but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge
of being wild and disobedient. NIV
Gen 26:34-35 – Marry only
a believer
34 When Esau was forty years old, he married
Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon
the Hittite. 35 They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah.
NIV
Matt 19:6 – Let no man
come between the two of you.
6 what God has joined together, let man not
separate. NIV
1 Cor 11:3 – The head of
ever man is Christ
3 Now I want you to realize that the head of
every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of
Christ is God.
Eph 5:23 – The head of the wife is the husband.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife
as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. NIV
Gen 3:16 – The husband will have authority over the wife
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will
rule over you NIV
Eph 5:25 – Husbands love your wife
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her NIV
1 Peter 3:7 – Treat your
wife with respect
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you
live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner
and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder
your prayers. NIV
Prov 5:18 – Have a constant delight in your wife
18 may you rejoice in the wife of your
youth. NIV
1 Sam 1:8 – Be sensitive
to her needs – Comfort her
8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah,
why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? NIV
WIVES
Titus 2:4-5 – Wives love
your husband; be pure and kind
4 Then they can train the younger women to love
their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled and pure, to
be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their
husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. NIV
Eph 5:33 – Respect your husband
33 let the wife see that she respects her
husband. NKJV
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. KJV
1 Cor 7:3-5 – Do not
withhold your body from each other
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty
to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but
also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him
alone but also to his wife.
5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual
consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then
come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your
lack of self-control. NIV
1 Peter 3:3-5 – Let your
beauty come from your inner self
3 Your beauty should not come from outward
adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine
clothes.
4 Instead, it should be that of your
inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which
is of great worth in God's sight.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past
who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive
to their own husbands. NIV
1 Tim 2:9-10 – Dress
modestly and decently
9 I also want women to dress modestly, with
decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or
expensive clothes,
10 but with good deeds, appropriate for
women who profess to worship God. NIV
Prov 12:4 – Let your
virtuousness be a crown to your husband
4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:
but she that makes ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. KJV
Prov 31:10-12 –
Virtuousness is worth more than rubies.
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her
price is far above rubies.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days
of her life. KJV
1 Tim 3:11 – Don’t gossip – Be temperate and trustworthy
11 In the same way, their wives are to be women
worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy
in everything.
NIV
CHILDREN
Gen 4:1 – Children are a
gift from God
1 And the man knew Eve his wife; and she
conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man with (the help of)
Jehovah. ASV
Ps 127:3 – They are a
heritage from God; a reward.
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the
LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
NKJV
Matt 19:14 – Take your
children to Church
14 Jesus said, "Let the little children
come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to
such as these. NIV
1 Chron 29:19 – Pray for
your children
19 And give my son Solomon the wholehearted
devotion to keep your commands, requirements and decrees and to do
everything to build the palatial structure for which I have provided. NIV
Prov 22:6 – Train your
child in what is right
6 Train a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not turn from it. NIV
Eph 6:4 – Instruct them in
the ways of the Lord
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children;
instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. NIV
Deut 4:9 – Teach God’s
ways generation to generation
9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so
that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from
your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their
children after them. NIV
Deut 32:46 – Require your
children to obey the Lord’s commands
46 he said to them, "Take to heart all the
words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your
children to obey carefully all the words of this law. NIV
Prov 23:13 -14 – Don’t withhold discipline – It will save their life
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul
from death. NIV
Prov 19:18 – Discipline them while they are young
18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope;
NIV
Prov 13:24 – Spank your child if they need correction
24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who
loves him is careful to discipline him. NIV
Prov 29:17 – Discipline
puts peace in your life
17 Discipline your son, and he will give you
peace; he will bring delight to your soul. NIV
Heb 12:7-8 – God
disciplines his own children
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating
you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?
8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone
undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true
sons. NIV
Eph 6:4 – Don’t provoke your
children, but chasten them
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your
children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of
the Lord. ASV
1 Tim 5:8 – Parents -
provide for the need of your children
8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives,
and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is
worse than an unbeliever. NIV
Heb 11:20 – Bless your children
20 By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in
regard to their future.
NIV
Ps 103:13 – Have
Compassion
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; NIV
Prov 13:22 – Plan to leave an inheritance for future generation
22 A good man leaves an inheritance for his
children's children,
NIV
Prov 14:26 – Make your home a place of refuge.
26 He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and
for his children it will be a refuge. NIV
Eph 6:1-3 – Children, obey
your parents
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord:
for this is right.
2 Honor thy father and mother; (which is
the first commandment with promise ;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou
mayest live long on the earth. KJV
FAMILY
Gen 18:19 – Keep and teach your family the way of the Lord
19 For I know him, that he will command his
children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the
LORD,
KJV
Luke 19:46 – Let your home be a house of family prayer
46 My house will be a house of prayer. NIV
Matt 14:12 – Share your sorrow with Jesus
12 And his disciples came, and took up the body (John the Baptist), and buried it, and (in sorrow) went and told Jesus.
KJV
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be
harsh with them. NIV
Prov 17:7 – Have excellent
speech
7 Excellent speech is not becoming to a fool, NKJV
6 Let your speech always be with grace,
seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. NKJV
Titus 2:8 – Speech that
cannot be condemned
8 sound speech that cannot be condemned, NKJV
James 3:2 – Speech must be
bridled so as not to offend
2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend
not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the
whole body.
KJV
THE GOOD WIFE – RABBIT TRAIL
- The Noble wife knows
her husband has full confidence in her; she gets up early while it is
still dark and prepares food for her family; she works hard with her hands
during the day making things she can sell and uses some of the money for
the family’s needs; saves some for a rainy day and invests some for their retirement
years, and still has a little left over just for “Family Fun”.
- She helps others who
are less fortunate – She sees that her family is well clothed and her home
a beautiful place to invite neighbors.
- She is not idle all
day and watches over the affairs of the family – She speaks wisdom, not
idle chatter or gossip. – She faithfully instructs her children to respect
and honor the Lord.
- Her husband, children
and neighbors call her blessed and praise her.
Prov 31:10-31 – The Noble
wife
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is
worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and
lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her
life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager
hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her
food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark; she
provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her
earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms
are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and
her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps
the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her
hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her
household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed
in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where
he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and
supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she
can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful
instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her
husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass
them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but
a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her
works bring her praise at the city gate. NIV
Interracial Marriage
- The
Song of Solomon speaks of Solomon as a Hebrew in love with a Black
woman, but was she really black?
The scriptures indicate that she was forced to work in the
vineyards and the sun made her skin dark. Read the Song of Solomon to see
the beautiful courtship and intimacy between these two. – The Song of
Solomon is also symbolic of the love between Jehovah God and
- God commanded the
Israelites not to intermarry with those of other nations; God wanted a chosen people, a
royal priesthood, a holy nation.- NYOBS 23.26 Segregation
- King Solomon did evil in the
sight of god and intermarried having 700 wives and 300 concubines and this
led him into deeper sin. – However I must point out that this command of
segregation was for the nation of
- The
concept of segregation still applies; you should not be
unequally yoked. A Believer
should not marry an unbeliever whether you are Jewish or not.
Song 1:5-7 – I am beautifully
darkened by the sun
5 Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem
6 Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I
am darkened by the sun. My mother's sons were angry with me and made me
take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected.
7 Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your
flock and where you rest your sheep at midday . Why should I be like
a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends? NIV
Deut 7:1-5 – Command not
to intermarry
1 When the LORD your God brings you into the land
you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations--the
Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites,
seven nations larger and stronger than you—
2 and when the LORD your God has delivered them
over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally.
Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.
3 Do not intermarry with them. Do not give
your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons,
4 for they will turn your sons away from following
me to serve other gods, and the LORD's anger will burn against you and will
quickly destroy you. NIV
1 Kings 11:1-9 – Solomon
intermarried and Sinned against God
1 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign
women besides Pharaoh's daughter-Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians
and Hittites.
2 They were from nations about which the LORD had
told the Israelites, "You must not intermarry with them, because
they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon
held fast to them in love.
3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth
and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his
heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his
God.
6 So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD;
he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done.
9 The LORD became angry with Solomon
because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel. NIV
2 Cor 6:14 – Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
14 Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers:
for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? or what communion hath
light with darkness? ASV
1 Peter 2:9 – Chosen people –
Royal Priesthood – Holy Nation
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal
priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may
declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful
light. NIV
SEX RULES – RABBIT TRAIL
- The marriage bed is
to remain undefiled; Heb 13:4
- Don’t have sex with
anyone except your wife – Ex
- If you are single
don’t have sex at all; Acts
- Do not get your
friends drunk so that you can have sex with them; Hab
- Don’t even think
about having sex with your neighbors wife – Ex
- Do not lust after any
woman or man, single or not; Matt
- Do not marry or have
sex with the following: Your
father; Lev 18:7 – Your mother or
step mother; Lev 18:8 – Your sister or half sister; Lev 18:9 – Your granddaughter; Lev 18:10 – Your aunt; Lev 18:12-13 – Your uncle; Lev 18:14 – Daughter in law: Lev 18:15 – Sister in law; Lev 18:16 – Do not have sex with a woman plus
her daughter or granddaughter ; Lev 18:17 – Don’t have sex with
two sisters while both are living Lev
18:18
- Do not prostitute
your daughter; Lev
- Don’t have sex during
a woman’s monthly period; Lev
- Don’t have sex with
someone of the same sex; Lev
- Don’t wear clothes
pertaining to the opposite sex; Deut 22:5
- Don’t have sex with
an animal; Lev
Webster:
- Adultery
–
Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone not
their spouse. NYOBS
- Fornication
-
Voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried people.
- Homosexuality
–
The desire to have sex with someone of the same sex as themselves.
- Lesbianism
-
Homosexuality – sex between women. -
NYOBS 02.02
Homosexuality
- Whore - A woman who engages
in promiscuous sexual intercourse with many men.
- Dog – A boy or man that
has sex with another man
- Bestiality
–
Sexual relation between a person and an animal.
Polygamy
- Polygamy - I feel a need to
speak to the issue of multiple wives.
While scripture does not outright forbid polygamy and seems to
leave it up to man; it does indicate that this is a disgraceful crime
against the family unit and wreaks havoc, jealousies, stress and tension
amongst the members and often leads to sin. – It was found more often
among the “well to do’s” than the common people. - I can’t help but think
of the early Mormons.
- MORMONS - Joseph Smith
continually informed his followers, “as God’s chosen leader” that he alone
had the right to revelation concerning the “whole church truth”, and every
spirit that did not confess this is of the antichrist.
- The
“wife” revelation was given that Joseph and other “faithful” Mormon men
were permitted to have as many wives as they pleased. Before he died, Joseph had between 27
and 48 wives based on the documentation from the Mormon Church and other
historians. He had married 12 women
whose husbands were still living.
It was share and share alike – He said, “I did not introduce polygamy,
I just merely restored it”, and not only did God tolerate it, but that God
required it. NYOBS 07.41 Eschatology
- The
Doctrine
of multiple wives was born in the minds of men fueled by their own lust. It first appeared in the reprobate line
of Cain when Lamech took two wives.
- Jacob was tricked by Laban
into marrying Leah his first daughter and finally he was allowed to marry
Rachel the second daughter. The
fruit from this polygamy resulted in Rachel’s envy and bitterness
of her own barrenness toward Leah and her children.
- King
David,
a married man, lusted after Bathsheba to have her as another wife. This resulted in the death of her
husband as well as his own first born. – Scripture says to drink water
from your own well.
- King
Solomon
had multiple wives and they led him away from God into sin.
- Abraham took Sarah’s maid in
order to bare a son and that resulted in hatred between her son Ishmael
and Sarah’s son Issac and their offspring’s, and that continues even unto
this day; the Muslims hating the Jew and the Christian. – The last war of
Armageddon will be between the Muslims and the Jews. NYOBS 22.02 Armageddon.
Gen 30:1 – Rachel becomes
frustrated and is in despair
1 And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no
children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me
children, or else I die. KJV
Gen 30:8 – Rachel is envious
of her sister Leah
8 And Rachel said, with great wrestlings
have I wrestled with my sister, KJV
2 Sam 12:9 – David had
Bathsheba’s husband killed.
9 Why did you despise the word of the LORD by
doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with
the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of
the Ammonites.
NIV
2 Sam 12:18 – David’s Child died
18 On the seventh day the child died.
David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead,
NIV
Prov 6:25- - Do not lust
for more
25 Do not lust in your heart after her
beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. NIV
Prov 5:15 – Drink water from your own well
15 Drink water from your own cistern and running
water from your own well. NKJV
1 Kings 11:4 – Solomon’s
polygamy caused him to Sin against God
4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his
heart after other gods,
Gen 21:9-10 – Stress and
hatred between Abraham’s sons.
9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the
Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking,
10 and she said to Abraham, "Get rid of
that slave woman and her son, for that slave woman's son will never share
in the inheritance with my son Isaac." NIV
Summary
The marriage institution applies only to
those who worship the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
It is a Divine covenant between God, a man and
a woman; between a male and a female.
It is designed for ONE husband and ONE wife with the marriage lasting
till death.
Its purpose is to have a family institution
that participates as instruments of God
bringing forth immortal souls; children that
are taught the ways of God.
To be part of a chosen people, a royal
priesthood and a Holy nation unto God.
The LORD God said, "It is not good for
the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for
him." Gen 2:18 NIV
In the multitude of counselors,
there is wisdom.
Prov 11:14
I am grateful for those that went before me providing concepts, ideas, historical information, and scripture verses. Because of them I can stand on their shoulders and see further than I otherwise ever could have.
A Commentary; Critical, Experimental and Practical
– Eedmann
All the Promises of the Bible – Herbert Lockyer
All the Women of the Bible – Edith Deen
Antiquity of the Jews – Josephus; The Jewish Historian
Baker Commentary on the Bible – Walter A. Elwell
Bible Almanac; The – Packer Tenney White
Bible Commentary – F.B Meyer
Bible Dictionary – Harper’s
Book of Bible lists – Joel Meredith
Customs and Folkways of Jewish Life – Theodor H. Gaster
Dake’s Annotated Reference Bible – Dake
Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon – J. Vernon
Encountering the Old Testament – Arnold-
Explore the Bible – LifeWay
Expositor’s Bible Commentary; The – Frank E. Gaebelein
Matthew Henry’s Commentary – Zondervan
Illustrated Bible Dictionary – Nelson’s
Illustrated Bible Dictionary – Tyndale
New International Dictionary of the Bible; The – Douglas - Tenney
Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible; Zondervan
Victor Journey through the Bible; The – V. Gilbert Beers
Who’s Who in the Bible - Gardner
Wycliffe Bible
Commentary; The – Pfeiffer & Harrison
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