DIVORCE
Pre-requisite - This Word study applies
only to a Male and a Female who are both Christians
First Word
I was about 11 years old when
I noticed my sister’s graduation card had an additional name on it and I asked
my mom why. It was then I received the bombshell of my life. Mom said she had been married before and that
this was her first husband’s name.
I couldn’t believe that my
Mom had been divorced and I asked my
Dad if he knew it. He said yes; that he
too was divorced when he met my Mom.
My heart sunk; my family was devout Christians. All my life they had taught Sunday School and
now I find out they BOTH had been DIVORCED.
We didn’t talk about it
again, but after I was married, I got another
bombshell… I had another sister that all the extended family knew about but
me. Now I have TWO half sisters.
I was the only child that
had the same mom and dad in common. - GOOD
GRIEF.
Marriage
- To talk about
Divorce,
it seems only right to start with a little dialog about marriage.
- The only thing I knew
about marriage was that at some point everybody got married, moved out
from their folks house and started their own family.
- I said the “for better or worse” part of the required
process .because that’s was what you did, but I gave no thought to any
of it.
- I believe most of
- You can live together
first to see if the relationship works out; then you can marry and if it
doesn’t work, you can ALWAYS get a divorce.
Civil Union
- Marriage is just a
civil union between two or maybe more people.
- REALLY
- Today two men can get
married or two women for that matter.
- Marriage or having a
“Partner” is just something you do so that under the law you can receive extra health and tax benefits and of
course some legalized SEX.
Cheap and Easy
- GOOGLE - Tammy
Wynette sings D-I-V-O-R-C-E – SC Divorce $149.00 - Do it
yourself Divorce – Divorce by phone – On line Divorce – Divorce American
style – Divorce and be friends – No fault Divorce – Divorce made Easy
- WICKIPEDIA - Divorce (or
the dissolution of marriage) is the termination of a marital union,
the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities
of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of
matrimony between a married couple
- Today
divorce is cheap and easy: Jesus acknowledged that the Pharisees back
in His day were an “Adulterous Generation” and that can be said of us
today. - Marriage has left its magnificent meaning and joined the ranks of
the sordid sitcom image.
Matt 12:39 – Jesus called them a adulterous generation
39 He answered, "A wicked and adulterous
generation asks for a miraculous sign! NIV
Man should not be alone
- Marriage
was God’s idea. - It all started in the Garden of Eden when God
determined that it was not good for a man to be alone and he gave
Eve to Adam to be his wife. God was
“The Father of the Bride” so to speak.
- He even mandated that
the marriage was not only so that we would not be alone, but that we
should multiply and be surrounded with children.
Gen 2:18 – It’s not good for man to be alone
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for
the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." NIV
Gen 2:22 – Father of the Bride
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib
he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. NIV
Gen 9:7 – Have some babies
7 As for you, be fruitful and increase in
number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it." NIV
Design
- God
designed the marriage – The marriage institution was designed for a
man and a woman
- Just as Eve was made
from
- They were to leave
their fathers home and start a new life together as one flesh in
their own home and have a bunch of babies if they were so blessed.
- Right
off the bat;
we can see that one of the main reasons to be married was to reproduce;
have children. This is something
two men or two women cannot do - this GAY concept is causing the collapse
of our culture into debauchery and our President isn’t helping with his
endorsement of Gay Marriages.
- The Institution
of
marriage was established by God Himself, for Himself.
- Marriage is from God, through God and for God
and is the showcase of HIS glory.
- Marriage is symbolic
of “Christ’s commitment to the Church”,
it is an unbreakable union. - God will not divorce the Church; with
the EXCEPTION that they are unfaithful; even then He will try to
woo them back.
Matt 19:4-6 – Male and
Female only and No Divorce
4 "Haven't you read," he replied,
"that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,”
5 and said, `For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh'?
6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore
what God has joined together, let man not separate." NIV
Gen 2:22-23 Flesh of my
flesh – The two are one flesh
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he
had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my
bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,' for she was
taken out of man."
Gen 2:24 – Leave home – Start your own family
24 For this reason a man will leave his father
and mother and be united (Cleve) to
his wife, and they will become one flesh. NIV
Deut 31:8 – God will never
leave nor forsake His Bride.
8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be
with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do
not be discouraged." NIV
1 Cor 10:31 – The marriage is to glorify God
31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do,
do it all for the glory of God. NIV
Symbolic
- The
Marriage Covenant is symbolic of the “Profound Mystery” of Christ as the Husband
and the Church as His wife - Christ left his Father side and
took the Church as His bride and has gone to prepare a place for us. – This
world is no longer our home.
- A man is to love his
wife as his own body, his own flesh. – A man who loves his wife loves
himself – They are one flesh
- Christ
is head of the Church – The husband is head of the marriage and
submits to God – therefore the wife submits to the husband because he is
submitted to God.
- Both the Husband and
the Wife are the Bride of Christ.
Eph 5:25-31 – Marriage
symbolic of Christ and the Church
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing
with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant
church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and
blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their
wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but
he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-
30 for we are members of his body.
31 "For this reason a man will leave his father
and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh." NIV
Eph 5:22-24 – Wives submit
to your husbands-he submits to God
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to
the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so
also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. NIV
Eph 5:32-33 – Marriage is
a profound mystery.
32 This is a profound mystery-but I am
talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his
wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. NIV
John 14:2-3 – Christ will
take His Bride to His home
2 I am going there to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will
come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. NIV
John 14:23 – This world is not our home
23 "If anyone loves me, he will obey my
teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home
with him. NIV
The
original wedding vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer
Groom:
I take thee to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day
forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness
and in health, to love and to cherish, till
death us do part, according to God's
holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Bride: I take thee to be my
lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better
for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love, cherish, and to obey, till
death us do part, according to God's
holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.
Groom:
With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my
worldly goods I thee endow: In
the name of the Father, and
of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Covenant
- What’s wild is that
the marriage vow is a covenant between a man, a woman
and God. There are three in
the covenant. – God has joined
together the marriage. – We have been chosen, made holy
and loved by God, we can trust Him, bank on Him and shape our marriage
like Him.
- A blood covenant cannot be
broken. When Adam and Eve sinned,
blood flowed when animals were killed and their skins were used to cover
their nakedness.
- When a man has sex
with his virgin wife, there is blood that flows for the first time. This is called the “cutting of the
covenant”, the sealing the marriage. ( NYOBS
5)
- God cut the covenant
with Abraham. Abraham did nothing
but observe; - God did it all – Abraham may have stumbled in the covenant,
but God did not.
- When Jesus was
pierced on the cross, blood flowed sealing the covenant of our
salvation.
- We may stumble in our
marriage, become painful distant to our spouse, backslide in our morals,
but God is faithful and wants our marriage to be healed. – We may stumble,
but He will not. - GOD HATES DIVORCE – Let no man separate the marriage
Gen 3:21 – The first blood
covenant with Adam and Eve
21 The LORD God made garments of skin for
Adam and his wife. NIV
Deut 22:17 – Cutting of the covenant with a Virgin wife
17 Now he has slandered her and said, `I did not
find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my
daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the bed cloth before the elders. NIV
Gen 15:17 -18 – God cut the covenant with Abraham
17 When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a
smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the
pieces.
18 On that day the LORD made a covenant
with Abram and said, "To your descendants I give this land, from the river of Egypt Euphrates —NIV
John 19:34 – Jesus cut the covenant with us
34 One of the soldiers pierced Jesus' side
with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. NIV
Heb 13:5 – I will not
leave you - I am faithful
5 God has said, "Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you." NIV
Matt 28:20 – I am with you
– I will keep the covenant
20 Surely I am with you till the very end of
the age NIV
Mal 2:16 – God hates divorce
16 "For the LORD God of Israel
Matt 19:6 – Let man not
separate what God has joined.
6 therefore what God has joined together let
man not separate." NIV
Is Divorce lawful?
- As I write about
divorce, I realize that the reader may have already been divorced or
perhaps is thinking about divorce.
Statistics say that about 50% of
- The question was put
to Jesus; “Is it lawful to divorce for any reason” and Jesus
replied that in the very beginning God “joined” two in marriage and
they should NOT be “separated”.
- Then they asked Jesus;
then why did Moses allow a certificate of divorce if it wasn’t
legal?
Now
this is where we get into the meat of the subject.
- Moses allowed the
certificate of divorce because of the hardness of their heart.
- Lets
unpack that term; “hardness of heart”
- Moses never mandated
or commanded divorce. - Because of
the hardness of their heart they were divorcing anytime they wanted to and
for any reason. Moses only permitted it in order to regulate it and to tie it down to only
actions of marriage infidelity which would extend to fornication before they were married - i.e. she was not a
virgin.
- When Joseph found out
that Mary was pregnant and he had not yet known her, he though to divorce
her quietly.
Matt 19:3-6 – Is it legal
to get a divorce?
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They
asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every
reason?"
4 "Haven't you read," he replied,
"that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and
female,'
5 and said, `For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh'?
6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore
what God has joined together, let man not separate."
NIV
Deut 24:1 - Moses allows a
Certificate of Divorce
1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing
to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes
her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house.
NIV
Matt 19:7-8 – Why did Moses
give a certificate of divorce?
7 "Why then," they asked, "did
Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send
her away?"
8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to
divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this
way from the beginning.
NIV
Matt 19:9 – Marital unfaithfulness
is the only exception
9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except
for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits
adultery."
NIV
Matt 1:18-19 – SEX before
marriage - Fornication
18 Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but
before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy
Spirit.
19 Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man
and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce
her quietly. NIV
The Three P’s
- Marriage, consisting
of the Three P’s, was
instituted to unite two God fearing people together for Protection, Provision and Peace. Sometimes one of the three P’s is missing
- Maybe
it’s Protection – While the husband’s responsibility of Protection to
the wife and family is primary; the wife also protects her husband and the
children – Maybe discipline is missing from the family. – Maybe the
husband is “MIA” Missing in Action – Adam’s job was to protect Eve and was
standing right beside her when she was tempted… He failed – God did not come after Eve who first sinned, but
came after Adam “the Protector” – God said; Adam, Where are you?
- Maybe
it’s Provision – Again it’s the
husband’s primary responsibility to provide for the family – But maybe
he’s a slacker – or is always looking for the easy buck so he won’t have
to work – Maybe the wife works too, but her money is her money.
- Maybe
its peace.
– Handsome or Beautiful does not compensate for a spouse that is
cranky, selfish or unkind. - God wants the Believers to have peace in their lives. There are inappropriate
things that take away peace
from the marriage such as moodiness, insecurity, clinging, jealousy, pity
parties, complaining, criticizing, fault finding, strong willed ready to
fight – yelling – verbal put downs - making demands, anger, temperamental
displays, playing hard to get, manipulating situations, withholding sex, physical
abuse and the list goes on and on. – (Is
this spouse really a believer?)
- Out of the abundance
of the heart, the mouth speaks. - A
foolish quarrelsome spouse brings trouble into their marriage with
their own mouth and inherits a whirlwind of trouble.
- Maybe you don’t have
a clue that your spouse has moved on without you and has had an affair and
wants out of the marriage – Is one spouse
a believer and the other really not?
- Proverbs says that an
adulteress’s path is unstable and he doesn’t even know it.
- Paul said; Let the unbeliever go, get a
divorce, you are free. – Although this came from Paul; we know the
words were given under the inspiration of God, as all of scripture is.
1 Cor 7:15 – UNBELIEVER - Let the unbeliever depart
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let
him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such
cases. But God has called us to peace.
2 Tim 3:16-17 – All
scripture is God breathed
16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is
useful for teaching rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped
for every good work. NIV
Prov 13:24 – Discipline protects the marriage
24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he
who loves him is careful to discipline him. NIV
Gen 3:6 – PROTECTION - Adam
failed to protect Eve
6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good
for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to
make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also
unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
KJV
Gen 3:9 – PROTECTION - Adam
WHERE ARE YOU
9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where
are you?" NIV
Prov 18:9 – PROVISION - A
slacker destroys his marriage
9 One who is slack in his work is brother to one
who destroys. NIV
2 Thess 3:10 – PROVISION - If you don’t work; you will not eat
10 For even when we were with you, we gave you
this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."
NIV
Prov 21:9 – PEACE - A
quarrelsome wife divides a home
9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than
share a house with a quarrelsome wife. NIV
Eph 4:31 – PEACE - Get rid
of bitterness, anger and fussing.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. NIV
Ps 6:6-7 – PEACE - I cry
myself to sleep
6 I am worn out from groaning; all night
long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.
7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow; NIV
Prov 11:29 – You will inherit the wind if you bring trouble
29 He that troubles his own house shall inherit
the wind; ASV
Prov 14:1 – A foolish
spouse tears down their marriage.
1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her
own hands the foolish one tears hers down. NIV
Matt 12:34 – What’s in the heart overflows the mouth
34 For out of the overflow of the heart the
mouth speaks. NIV
Prov 5:6 – UNFAITHFUL - The
adulterer’s path is unstable
6 She gives no thought to the way of life; her
paths are crooked, but she knows it not. NIV
Three Exceptions
- Divorce
has been justified for Three Reasons
- Unfaithful
Divorce
- A spouse has been unfaithful to the other before or after
marriage.
- Unbeliever
Divorce
- One spouse is an unbeliever and THEY want to go.
- Redemptive
Divorce
– A spouse brings into the home disruptive behavior like habitual lying, or
drugs, or drunkenness, rage, assault, addictive gambling, child abuse, and
perhaps even an adulterous lifestyle. – All removing PEACE from the marriage. – God has called us to peace.
- I realize most folks
will only agree with divorce for the first reason and might
consider the second reason, but not the third; however some
marriages need an intervention
to save their children or perhaps their very own life. – You may have
heard of someone who felt TRAPPED and wound up committing suicide. – This
is so sad; affecting many - NYOBS 9 suicide
Matt 19:9 – Marital
unfaithfulness is an exception
9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except
for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits
adultery." NIV
Matt 1:18-19 – SEX before
marriage - Fornication
18 Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but
before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy
Spirit.
19 Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man
and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce
her quietly. NIV
2 Cor 6:14 – Do not be married to an unbeliever
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can
light have with darkness? NIV
1 Cor 7:15 – Let the unbeliever depart
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let
him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such
cases. But God has called us to peace.
Col 3:15 – You are called
to have PEACE
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. NIV
Unbelieving Spouse
- Marriage is not only
about love, but about covenant keeping.
- Maybe you came to the
Lord after you were married, but your spouse did not. What do you do? – You are not
required to be enslaved for the sake of the marriage. If THEY want to leave, you can let them
go. You are not required to keep
the marriage vow.
- However an unbeliever
is “sanctified” by the marriage
to the believer – It does not save them, but they could become saved by
the “sermon” lived out in your life.
1 Cor 7:10 -16 – Stay married if you both desire.
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the
Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
11 But even if she does depart, let her remain
unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his
wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who
does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not
divorce her.
13 And a woman who has a husband who does not
believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by
the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your
children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let
him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such
cases. But God has called us to peace.
16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will
save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your
wife?
NKJV
Sex is Good
- Everything God made is good including SEX and
it’s normal for a man and a woman to desire each other and it should
not be withheld lest Satan get a foothold in the marriage.
- Sexual intercourse in
the marriage context is a faith weapon against Satan.
- Don’t abstain too
long – Give each other the RIGHTS that belong to each other.
- Drink water from your
own well
and share it with no one. – Be content. – Lose yourself in the oneness of SEX with your spouse. –
SEX is a “binding agent” to the marriage.
- Let the marriage bed
remain undefiled. – Enjoy SEX with thanksgiving to God.
1 Cor 7:2-5 – Fulfill your
DUTY of SEX
2 Since there is so much immorality, each man
should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty
to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but
also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him
alone but also to his wife.
5 Do not deprive each other except by
mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.
Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack
of self-control. NIV
Heb 13:4 – Let the
marriage bed be undefiled
4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the
marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the
sexually immoral. NIV
Heb 13:5 – Be content with
what you have
5 Be content with what you have, NIV
Prov 5:15 -18 – Drink water from your own cistern – don’t share
15 Drink water from your own cistern, running
water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your
streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared
with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice
in the wife of your youth. NIV
1 Tim 4:3 – SEX was
created to be received with thanksgiving
3 They forbid people to marry and order
them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received
with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. NIV
Messin’ Around
- Researchers say that
51% of Americans have committed adultery sometime during the life of their
marriage; however this need not destroy the marriage. – Having SEX with
someone that is not your spouse, unites the two of you into one flesh,
this should be unthinkable for the Christian who is one flesh with the
Lord. – But it happens.
- It all starts pretty
innocently… You work well with her at the office. You begin to take breaks
at the same time… Then you plan your lunch when she does… You wind up on
the same team… You mention coming in on Saturday to catch up some work….
She does too…. You both begin to co-miserate… then it happens.
- You are a zone
manager and have to open the store at
- She keeps bringing
her car in for minor repairs; things that you can’t find… You put her car up
on the lift while she is still in the car…. You climb in so you can
understand the problem better… Then it happens….You think no one knows
what’s going on in the car high up on the lift…. But they do.
- You return something
to Sue’s apartment, you are introduced to her “perky friend” and then Sue
leaves for an appointment – You are left with “Perky” – It’s nice, She’s
nice, she smells good and talks softly and touches you often as she talks.
– The subject turns to Christian sex and you begin to melt. – The phone
rings and she gets up to answer it.
You remember the scripture, that with every temptation, God
provides a way of escape - You get up and wave as you leave the
apartment. – Life is choice driven – you just made the choice.
1 Cor 10:13 – A way of escape
13 No temptation has overtaken you except
such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be
tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make
the way of escape, that you may be able to bear NKJV
1 Cor 6:16 –SEX with a prostitute and you become one flesh.
16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with
a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two
will become one flesh."
NIV
1 Cor 6:17 – A Christian is one in the Spirit with God
17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one
with him in spirit. NIV
The Mind
You
have heard it said; “It’s all in your
mind”; and it is.
- You can say “I
CAN’T get along with my wife”, “I CAN’T communicate with her”,
but what you are really saying is “I
- When you are temped to
just divorce or to find someone else; God will provide a way to help you
maintain the marriage covenant, even if it is YOU that has
stumbled. - Just seek Him.
- You become loveable
by loving; not by manipulating. – Kisses, thoughtfulness, understanding and
a sense of security repairs the bridge. – The spouse must experience
that they are valuable and precious. – You have a choice to let them go or
- Don’t
look back
at when you were single, keep your eyes on the marriage covenant path and
your way will be established. –
- Gird
up; grab hold of the
fringes of your mind – Make up your
mind to conform yourself to the foundation of strength offered
through the grace of Christ. – No one that puts their hand to the
“plow of marriage” and then looks back desiring the single lifestyle is
worthy of the Marriage Covenant made with God. – Looking back plows a
crooked marriage row.
1 Cor 10:13 – God provides a way
13 No temptation has seized you except what
is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a
way out so that you can stand up under it.
NIV
1 Peter 1:13 -15 – Gird up the loins of your mind
13 Therefore gird up the loins of your mind,
be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought
to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
14 as obedient children, not conforming
yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance;
15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be
holy in all your conduct, NKJV
2 Cor 12:9 – Gods grace
gives you strength
9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient
for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." NIV
Prov 4:25 -27 – look and ponder the path before you
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead, And
your eyelids look right before you.
26 Ponder the path of your feet, And let
all your ways be established.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left; Remove
your foot from evil.
NKJV
Luke 9:62 – Don’t look
back at single life and wonder.
62 "No one who puts his hand to the
plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." NIV
Gen 19:26 – Lot ’s wife looked back at where she had been
26 But Lot 's wife looked back, and
she became a pillar of salt. NIV
Hosea and Gomer
- The story of Hosea, a
prophet of God and his prostitute wife is amazing. As symbolic of Christ and the Church,
the marriage of Hosea unfolds as he goes and seeks after his
wayward wife and buys her back at the slave market for 15 shekels,
plus throws in an extra homer and a half of barley and brings her
home to live with him again.
- The story is symbolic
of
- Just as Hosea took
his bride back, so Jesus does when we stray – Redeem your marriage.
- Marriage is a shadow of us as the bride
of Christ.
- Love grows in its expression
– it pursues – is unselfish – values the person – assumes
responsibility – gives to the limit – is pure in motive and action.
- Christ’s power is
made perfect in our weakness – His grace is sufficient – The strength of
Christ will help us in the striving to save our marriage.
Hos 3:1-3 – Go buy back
your wife
1 The LORD said to me, "Go, show your love
to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress.
Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods
and love the sacred raisin cakes."
2 So I bought her for fifteen shekels of
silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley.
3 Then I told her, "You are to live with
me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and
I will live with you."
2 Cor 12:14 – Ready to come and not be a burden
14 Behold, this is the third time I am ready to
come to you; and I will not be a burden to you: for I seek
not yours, but you: ASV
2 Cor 12:15 – I will give freely to you
15 And I will most gladly spend and be
spent for your souls. ASV
2 Cor 12:9 – His grace is
sufficient.
9 My grace is sufficient for thee: for (my)
power is made perfect in weakness. ASV
Phil 4:13 – Strive at the
marriage with the strength of Christ
13 I can do all things in him that strengthens me.
ASV
Col 2:17 – Marriage is a
shadow of the bride of Christ
17 These are a shadow of the things that were
to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ. NIV
What you can do
- First of all commit to the marriage and remove
all doubt that you want to stay together.
- Husbands treat your wives as
if they were your own body as God treats the Church.
- Headship of the home is not a
right, nor a burden, but a unique responsibility; to protect; physically
and spiritually provide; lead, comfort, exhort and discipline with
tender care as well as maintain Peace
in the family unit. The husband provides both Spiritual and moral “initiative”,
not dominance. – It is his responsible to define integrity,
morals and modesty.
- Wives give RESPECT to your husband as head
of your home just as Christ is head of the Church - Both of you;
ignore the annoying habits, the flaws, the idiosyncrasies and weaknesses. –
Accept each other WARMLY regardless of the situation.
- Submission is willing, free, and
full of gladness, adding strength to the marriage and honor to the husband
according to your gifts which compliments and enriches his gifts -
Submission is not a “cultural leftover” from long ago – Servanthood is
scriptural. – It does NOT mean your brain is in neutral and you agree with
everything – You do not follow into sin
- Neither of you are
all-wise, perfect or self sufficient. – Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to
intercede for you to have FAITH to TRUST the Lord in your dysfunctional
relationship.
- Try to clarify and define each other roles to
remove confusion and ambiguity in the marriage. - Mutually and humbly
submit to each other agreeing to meet the others needs.
- Don’t start seeking
greener pastures - Understand that every cow pasture has Cow Plop here and there that MUST
be stepped over.
- Don’t let your selfish desires be cloaked in
spiritual language having only a form of godliness.
- Don’t let your many
words NAG and badger, let your actions do most of the talking.
- If you are abused or mistreated, pray for him.
– Spend time deep in the word entrenching your unshakable roots in the theology
and sovereignty of God.
- Love each other, not
reform each other – Be quick to listen; slow to anger, merciful –
Have a compassionate heart with humility, meekness and patience bearing
with one another.
- Forgive – Fight bitterness – Don’t use the
children as a weapon.
- Don’t “air your
laundry” with your family or friends to cause them to take sides.
- Do not defend yourself before others – Avoid tale
bearing and loose talk
- Seek a Godly person
of the SAME SEX to give you support – Spent time in the scriptures.
- Concentrate on your mistakes, not your
spouses, asking God to show YOU how to change.
- Do not separate –
Encourage the other to stay – give them space and respect with “actions”
of quiet love. – Delay divorce - Let the Lord fight the battle.
- Don’t over compensate with your children by ignoring
discipline – They need their Father and Mother to be stable and constant,
dependable and trust worthy.
- Don’t expect a quick
solution – Hope in all things, believe in all things and endure
all things.
- Take it just one day at a time, praying
often, seeking God to lead your actions and reactions.
- Keep faith, hope and
love in your heart.
- Have compassion, kindness, humility,
gentleness, patience, love and meet emotional needs.
- Love unselfishly pursues the spouse; assumes
responsibility; gives to the limit; grows and does not diminish. – Love covers a multitude of flaws.
- Don’t let your love for your spouse depend on
how you are treated. (This is a hard one for me)
- Let the old path
pass away as a new path of reconciliation emerges through Christ. –
Submit to each other; love each other – Your marriage is called to PEACE.
- The sin of adultery has already been nailed
to the cross. – Paid in Full – Ask for forgiveness. Count your spouse as
righteous even though they are not – It’s through Christ that the both of
you are made righteous. – Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.
- Don’t let the sun set
on unresolved issues – Reconcile, make PEACE before bedtime.
1 Peter 2:20 – Endure while doing good
20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a
beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good
and you endure it, this is commendable before God. NIV
1 Cor 13:13 – Have Faith, Have Hope, Have Love
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope
and love. But the greatest of these is love. NIV
12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy
and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,
gentleness and patience.
13 Bear with each other and forgive
whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord
forgave you.
14 And over all these virtues put on love,
which binds them all together in perfect unity. NIV
2 Cor 5:17-18 – A new path
of reconciliation
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to
himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: NIV
1 Peter 4:8-9 – Love
covers a multitude of flaws
8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love
covers over a multitude of sins.
9 Offer hospitality to one another without
grumbling. NIV
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful NIV
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is
fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be
harsh with them. NIV
13 God made you alive with Christ. He forgave
us ALL our sins,
14 having canceled the written code, with its
regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away,
nailing it to the cross. NIV
James 1:19 -20 – Be quick to listen and be slow to anger
19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone
should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
20 for man's anger does not bring about the
righteous life that God desires. NIV
1 Cor 13:4-7 – LOVE - protects,
preserves, is patient, trusts
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It
does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with
the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
NIV
Luke 6:27-28 – Pray for
those who mistreat you
27 "But I tell you who hear me: Love your
enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those
who mistreat you. NIV
1 Peter 3:1 – Wives don’t
NAG
1 Wives, in the same way be submissive
to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won
over without words by the behavior of their wives, NIV
Eph 4:26 – Make peace before the sun goes down
26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not
let the sun go down while you are still angry, NIV
Momentary
- While Marriage
is permanent, it’s not forever, it’s only momentary. Marriage exists only while we are on earth. When we die we will be like the angles
in heaven. There will be no
marriage or husband and wife. We
will all; male and female be the bride of Christ.
- Ask God to
establish your marriage, confirm it, sanctify it and preserve
it.
- Marriage is a gift to
be enjoyed while on earth, it is a fleeing mist to be sweetly embraced.
- At death the marriage
vow will end.
Mark 12:25 – No husband or wife in Heaven
25 When the dead rise, they will neither marry
nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. NIV
James 4:14 – Marriage is but a mist and then vanishes
14 You are a mist that appears for a little
while and then vanishes. NIV
Matt 22:30 – Death ends the marriage vow
30 At the resurrection people will neither marry
nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. NIV
Rom 7:1-2 – Death releases
the Law of marriage.
1 Do you not know, brothers-for I am speaking to
men who know the law-that the law has authority over a man only as long as he
lives?
2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to
her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is
released from the law of marriage. NIV
I remain a dirty, rotten, lowdown, scumbag
sinner
Saved, Redeemed and Forgiven by His Grace – Praise God
I just felt a need to confess it.
In the multitude of counselors,
there is wisdom.
Prov 11:14
I am grateful for those that went before me providing concepts, ideas, historical information, and scripture verses. Because of them I can stand on their shoulders and see further than I otherwise ever could have.
All the Women of the Bible – Edith Deen
American Standard Version Bible - ASV
Annotated
Reference Bible – Dake
Antiquity of the Jews – Josephus
Bible Almanac; The - Nelson
Customs and Folkways of Jewish Life – Theodor H. Gaster
Google Internet
Harper’s Bible Dictionary – Harper & Row
How to Save your Marriage Alone – Ed Wheat
Illustrated Bible Dictionary – Nelson’s
Illustrated Bible Dictionary; The - Tyindale
King James Version Bible – KJV
Landmark Baptist; The – Brian Willis
New International Version Bible – NIV
New International Dictionary of the Bible; The – Douglas - Tenney
This Momentary Marriage – John Piper
Victor Journey through the Bible; The – V. Gilbert Beers
Who’ Who in the Bible – Paul D. Gardner
Wikipedia
Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible; The
- Tenny
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