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Tuesday, August 9, 2016

GIFT OF SINGLENESS - NYOBS 61.02


GIFT OF SINGLENESS
Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
Matthew 19:11 (NIV2011)
First Word

·         I asked a young lady out on a date to go to Church on Wednesday night; when we arrived at Church, she said, “you really did mean CHURCH didn’t you” – She asked to sit in the balcony because she was not dressed appropriately.  - I thought, where else do you go on Wednesday Night, but Prayer Meeting.
·         As a young Christian adult I was a SINGLE INTROVERTED NERD.  My life was full of train table construction, building two way radios, speaker enclosures, amplifiers and tuners.  I would come up for air on Friday night at 5 pm and think about getting a date, which by then was impossible. – Tyrous, my forward thinking best friend would get me blind dates so we could double date and sometimes triple date.  – I was a lot of FUN Once I Got Out.
·         I sure liked the ladies, but I didn’t pursue relationships in any serious way. - I think I was born an Introvert because I was so FULFILLED building and CREATING things that dating had just not become a priority in my life. – I still love to build and create things, and if not for my friend I would probably still be single. – I did marry the girl that I met on a blind date; I think she was impressed with my awesome Sub-Woofer. – Just Saying. –  


World View
·         Do you View Singleness as Freedom, Liberty and a Blessing or do you see it as a curse; a burden, cruel and unusual punishment; a cross to bear. – Today Christians shack-up together and do not marry. – Some Christians are unequally yoked, marring a non-Christian and paying the price for that relationship. – We do these things because of our “Bibleless” World View.
·          This Word Study addresses the Christian from the SPIRITUAL point of view, as well as addresses the PHYSICAL emotions that go along with it in this real world. - I am not speaking with thunder and lightning from a mountain top, but tiptoeing through a tricky mine field hoping to not blow up anything that leaves a moral maze that just side steps the subject with a few noncommittal spiritual comments – NYOBS 27.25 – SEX RULES
·         Views on Singleness; 1) Some are FRUSTRATED; focusing only on getting married.  2) Some are ZEALOUS because of their liberty. 3) Some are MINDLESS, because; IT IS WHAT IT IS.
·         I will like to shift your thoughts away from WHY you are single, to the PURPOSE of you being single. -  NYOBS 08.18 - SEX ADULTERY AND FORNICATION
Matthew 19:11 - Marriage is not for everybody
11 But Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone.(MSG)
Ex 22:16 – If you have SEX, then you should get MARRIED
16 "If a man seduces a virgin (single woman) who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, (has Sex) he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his WIFE. NIV
2 Corinthians 6:14 – Don’t marry an unbeliever        
14 Be NOT unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion hath light with darkness? (ASV)

Gift of Marriage
·         Marriage is not for everyone any more than celibacy or Singleness is. -  Marriage is for this life only; when we are resurrected to a newness of life there will be NO marriage in heaven. So for those of you who feel IMPRISONED by your marriage, you will receive a “Get out of Jail Free” card at the resurrection.
·         Hosea the Prophet was told by God to GET MARRIED and not only that, to marry a WHORE, and then he told Jerimiah the Prophet that he must STAY SINGLE. - God calls people in different ways, sometime you know it for sure, and sometimes you don’t.
·         Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband, in fact it is your “right” should you desire it.
·         The Gift of Marriage for the most part is self-focused, individualistic and materialistic.  It focuses on security, companionship, sex, children and self-fulfillment. - The trials and tribulations of marriage is usually preferred over a tortured sex deprived life as a single, but either Gift can still be used for the COMMON GOOD.
·         Some people can serve God best as a team or a couple, therefore marriage is the IDEAL place for them in life.  – Singleness is by no means Second Class. - Through prayer you are able to determine what is the acceptable and perfect will of God in your life.  – If you lack wisdom in this area, ask God and it will be given to you generously.
Matthew 22:30 – Marriage only on earth – not in Heaven
30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
(ESV)
Hosea 1:2-3 – Hosea, go TAKE A WHORE for a wife
2 When Jehovah spake at the first by Hosea, Jehovah said unto Hosea, Go, take unto thee A WIFE of WHOREDOM and children of whoredom; for the land doth commit great whoredom, departing from Jehovah.
3 So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim; and she conceived, and bare him a son.
(ASV)
Jeremiah 16:1-2 – Jeremiah, you shall STAY SINGLE
1 The word of the LORD came to me:
2 You shall NOT TAKE A WIFE, nor shall you have sons or daughters in this place.
(ESV)
Romans 12:2 - Discern the acceptable and perfect will of God
2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
(ESV)
1 Corinthians 12:4-7 – Gifts are for the Common Good
4  Now there are VARIETIES OF GIFTS, but the same Spirit;
5  and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord;
6  and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.
7 To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for THE COMMON GOOD.
(ESV)
James 1:5 - If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
(ESV)
1 Corinthians 7:2 – Each man should have his own wife
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
(ESV)
1 Corinthians 9:5 – It is my right to have a believing wife
5 Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife, as do the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas?
(ESV)
Genesis 2:18 It is GOOD to marry
18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not GOOD that the man should be alone; I will MAKE HIM A HELPER fit for him.” (ESV)

“Gift” of Singleness
·         Bachelor till the Rapture - It is doubtful that today God calls anyone to singleness against their will. - The Gift of Singleness can be just for a season, but sometimes it’s a lifetime calling – This calling is not something everyone can share. – Many singles DO NOT possess the spiritual GIFT of singleness, but nevertheless remain un-married, it’s part of their life and for the most part, beyond their control.
·         The GIFT of Singleness does not deny or suppress your sexuality, but directs you into service of the body of Christ that honors God with sexual purity; it may be temporary or lifelong.
·         Young single people need Single Spiritual Leaders who are flexible, mobile, and available in being that good friend who provides them with undivided attention.
·         I want to address the passage of scripture that discusses THE GIFT OF SINGLENESS. – I think it is important to know WHY the topic was brought up in the first place.
·         The Greek Word for GIFT is “charisma” coming from the root word “charis” which means GRACE.  – Singleness is a special Grace Gift from God for kingdom service.
·         When Paul speaks of the Gift of ONE kind and ONE of another, he is saying that ONE is the gift of SINGLENESS and another ONE is the gift of being MARRIED. – Both are affirmed and both are called gifts. - So Paul is not putting singleness as a gift better than marriage, but as a status in life.
1 Corinthians 7:1-7 – The Gift of Singleness
1 Now concerning the matters about which YOU wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
6 Now as a concession, NOT A COMMAND, I say this.
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own GIFT from God, one of ONE kind
(single) and ONE of another (married). (ESV)
Romans 3:23-24 – Grace is God’s Gift
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
24 and are justified by his GRACE as a GIFT, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, (ESV)
Singleness

·         Singleness can be because of homosexual orientation, birth or physical defects, obligations to take care of elderly parents, or perhaps the result of a horrible accident, or the death of a spouse or separation because of divorce. -  Someone may have NEVER married because they have NOT actually met someone that they wanted to marry.
·         Some have been emotionally damaged in previous relationships and psychologically damaged by others leaving them in a position where they fear close relationships and are unable to sustain them.
·         When you take scripture at its core value of instructing Christians “to not be unequally yoked”, you reduce the number of qualified applicants to less than half. – Those that are desirable are not available and those that are available are just not desirable.
·         Marriage and Singleness run parallel in that they both have their benefits and joys, sorrows and troubles; they are just different. -  However, singleness from the Spiritual point of view can be a higher calling in the propagation of the Gospel. – If Singleness is your calling, it can be a platform of service that secures your undivided devotion to the Lord.
·         Even though it was the custom for Jewish men to marry, Jesus was single as was Paul and John the Baptist, all of which achieved greatness in establishing the Church.
·         John the Baptist chose the seclusion of the wilderness as the Essenes did, somewhat like the monks and nuns do today with the seekers coming to them.  Paul chose the highways of life and went to where the people were. – Both were single, both called; different roads with different travelers. -  We need them both. – We need the man on the corner that is carrying a sign that says repent or burn and we need the man in the pulpit teaching verse by verse everything that God has commanded; different callings, same Lord.
·         Singleness can be a privilege; if you remember the SINGLE peasant girl named Mary was chosen thousands of years earlier to be the mother of our Messiah, Jesus the Christ.
·         Singleness can be a blessing, a special Gift from the Devine Giver who knows the end from the beginning.  - Not a Gift as was poured out on the Day of Pentecost by the Holy Spirit, but a gift that was designed just for you which you are happy with and desire. – If you are not happy being single and do not desire this, it’s certainly not a gift from God and there is nothing wrong with exchanging the gift. – It’s in the Book -
·         Have you heard of Missionary Dating? That’s when you date a non-believer in order to lead them to Christ – It’s called “Flirting that leads to Converting”. – Some CULTS even encourage sex, with the belief that the end justifies the means. - I encourage you to avoid dating non-believers; you can be pulled down much easier than you can pull someone else up.
·         Scripture say to not stir up love until the appropriate time. – Wait for the right timing.
2 Corinthians 6:14 – Don’t marry an unbeliever        
14 Be NOT unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion hath light with darkness? (ASV)
1 Corinthians 7:35 – Singleness provides undivided devotion to God
35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (ESV)
Isaiah 7:14 – Prophecy; Single woman bear a son called Immanuel
14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin
(single person) shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (God is with us). (ESV)
Song of Songs 8:4 – Don’t stir up love until appropriate time
4 Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you:   do not STIR UP or awaken LOVE until the appropriate time. (HCSB)

Anonymous Quiet Suffering
·         Married people get to go home after church with their spouse and have a nice meal, while someone who is single goes home to feed their goldfish or if they are fortunate that have a cat that’s asleep somewhere that they can call. – Birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are low times with emotions of a second rate existence. – They wonder why God is taking so long to HOOK THEM UP with someone.
·         They have Feelings and emotions that everyone that they know is either married or in a relationship and they are not able to love someone or receive love as deeply as others do.
·         The thoughts flood in about not having a partner and the fear of never finding one; it’s a sense of isolation with no hope, rarely noticed by anybody.
·         Sometimes you just “feel alone”; it’s “just you” with a glaring reminder that you lack something and you wrestle with the nagging pain of heartache, loneliness, discontentment and depression which you have just learned to “live with”.
·         Sometimes Fellow Christians deem Singleness as something that is God’s second best and probably that you are in a deficient life, unfulfilled and incomplete, and they offer you confusing advice that is emotionally hard to process.  
·          They are continually checking on your ‘STATUS” and usually try to ‘FIX YOU UP” with someone, which just DRIVES YOU CRAZY and you just smile all the time wishing GAS PAINS on them if they don’t change the subject. - NYOBS 50.24 – RELATIONSHIP FELLOWSHIP

The Central Issue
·         Getting to the Point of Paul’s letter to the Church.
·         There was some extenuating issues and circumstances in the Church that Paul was addressing in his letter that all of them knew about, but we can only guess. – (If we didn’t know better, we would think Paul has just come through a nasty breakup with his girlfriend.)
·         To their question he is pointing out that being married or single does not define the central issue of your life; the BIG ISSUE is how you are able to serve the Lord.
·         Remember Paul is Single and considers his status as a Gift from God and says marriage is a good thing, but as for serving the Lord, singleness is even better. – From his point of view, earthly relationships and affections become insignificant in the presence and light of Jesus Christ in eternity.
1 Corinthians 7:25-28 – Single or Married - Stay as you are
25 Now concerning the betrothed
(virgins/single), I have NO COMMAND FROM THE LORD, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
26 I think that in view of THE PRESENT DISTRESS it is good for a person to remain as he is.
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed
(virgin/single) woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have WORLDLY TROUBLES, and I would spare you that. (ESV)
1 Corinthians 7:38 – Marriage is good, Singleness is even better
38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. (ESV)

The End is near
·         Paul believed that the “Time was Short”, that the return of the Messiah was imminent  and he felt an urgency in spreading the Gospel to as many people as possible before that happened.  – This is the sole point of his letter on the Gift of Singleness.
·         Paul is expressing that a man or woman BEING SINGLE has the ability to concentrate on things of God and how to please Him and how to invest in people, dream dreams, and accomplish great goals for the kingdom.
·         Being Married burdens the mind with obligations to the spouse, family and worldly responsibilities which divides a person’s time and efforts concerning the impending Kingdom of God; that if you were single, it was a GIFT FROM GOD. – You were FREE to serve.
·         Obviously today, while we know that our TIME IS SHORT, we do not live in any urgency for the Kingdom of God. – The zeal to devote, without distraction, your whole life to the Kingdom of God is sadly left wanting. – My contribution to the Kingdom of God is my Word Studies and my Giving that makes it possible for others to go.
·         How can people call on Jesus for salvation unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe if they have never heard? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how can they go unless they are sent?
·         If you want to get in on what God is doing, you should at least ask Him what He would have you to do. – That’s why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring the Good News!”
1 Corinthians 7:29-31 – Time is short – World shortly pass away
29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed TIME HAS GROWN VERY SHORT. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none,
31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of THIS WORLD IS PASSING AWAY. (ESV)
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 – Being Single is better for the ministry
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.
33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife,
34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.
35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your UNDIVIDED DEVOTION to the Lord.
(ESV)
Romans 10:14-15 – How can they go unless someone sends them
14 But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?
15 And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!” (NLT)

Hooking Up
·         My cute wife told me that as a teenager, she and her girlfriends would pile into a car and drive around on a Sunday Night to see which Church the boy’s cars were parked at, the next Sunday each knew which Church they wanted to attend.
·         The Concept might not be a bad idea, find out which churches have a “Singles Program” and visit around.  It’s far better than searching for “The Right One” IN A BAR.
·         Do not forsake going to Church and fellowshipping with other Believers as some have been accustomed to doing. – It’s a privilege that many do not have because of work on Sunday. If you are Single and want to meet a fellow Christian, where better than in the House of God.
Hebrews 10:24-25 – Don’t forsake assembling together in Church
24 let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,
25  not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see THE DAY APPROACHING.
(NKJV)
Romans 15:5-7 – Welcome others – Live in Harmony – Glorify God
5 May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus,
6 that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7 Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. (ESV)

Last Thoughts

·         Marriage is not THE GIFT, and Singleness is not THE PUNISHMENT, they are both gifts.
·         God gives gifts that you enjoy and take pleasure in, something that you are good at and others notice the ease of which you do it. – For some people it is actually better for them not to marry, singleness is a Good Gift.
·         When you think of the “Gift” of Singleness it is in the Spiritual context of how you can serve God and if you are excited with singleness, then singleness IS your calling for now, so embrace the liberty. – Single people are serving in various capacities in all parts of the world where a traditional family just would not work.
·         Singleness can be for a lifetime or it can be just for a season, just as marriage can be unexpectedly interrupted, and you are single again. – Jesus said, Not Everyone is able to receive being single, but only those to whom it is given. – Singleness is not primarily a LACK of relationships, but an OPPORTUNITY for relationships through tangible acts of hospitality, service, and love.
·         Jesus was Single and was tempted in every way that is common to man and knows exactly the emotions and feelings that surges through your mind and body, so you can go to Him in prayer about every emotion and He will provide a way so that you are ABLE TO ENDURE IT.
·         Married or Single is a “status” and both are validated by God.  - IF you desire someone to share your life with, then the GIFT of being single was not given to you.  - Our Father in heaven knows how to give GOOD GIFTS to those who ask Him.
·         Do you desire to meet a Christian Single; start in your own Church, you might have to visit other churches that have a singles program, but it’s far better than looking in a BAR.
·         In your Singleness, God is preparing you for whatever comes next; all things work together for Good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

Matthew 19:11-12 - Not everyone can receive being single
11 But he said to them, Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs FOR THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
(ESV)
Romans 8:28 - All things work together for good
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (ESV)
Hebrews 2:18 – Jesus SUFFERED when tempted – Able to help
18 For because he himself has SUFFERED when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
(ESV)
1 Corinthians 10:13 – A way provided to be ABLE TO ENDURE IT
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may BE ABLE TO ENDURE IT.
(ESV)
Luke 4:13 – Christ tempted IN EVERY TEMPTATION
13 And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.
(ESV)
Hebrews 4:15 – Jesus tempted IN EVERY RESPECT as we are
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who IN EVERY RESPECT has been TEMPTED AS WE ARE, yet without sin.
(ESV)
Matthew 7:11 – God gives Good Gifts
11  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven GIVE GOOD GIFTS to those who ask him!
(NIV2011)
James 1:17 – Good and Perfect Gifts come down from God
17  Every GOOD GIFT and every PERFECT GIFT is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom can be no variation, neither shadow that is cast by turning.
(ASV)
James 4:2 - You do not have, because you do not ask
2 ... You do not have, because YOU DO NOT ASK.
(ESV)
James 4:3 – You do not receive, because you ask wrongly
3 You ask and do not receive, because YOU ASK WRONGLY, to spend it on your PASSIONS.
(ESV)



In the multitude of counselors,
there is wisdom.
Proverbs 11:14


I am grateful to those that went before me providing concepts, ideas, historical
information, and scripture verses.  Because of them I can stand on their shoulders
and see further that I otherwise ever could have.
                                                                                                                                     
Antiquity of the Jews – Flavius Josephus Matthias
Apocrypha - Goodspeed
Bible Almanac; The – Packer-Tenney-White
Bible Dictionary – Harper and Row
Dake’s Annotated Bible – Dake
English Standard Version Bible – ESV
Expositor’s Bible Commentary – Frank E. Gaebelein
Illustrated Bible Dictionary – Nelson’s
Illustrated Bible Dictionary; The – Tyndale
Interlinear Greek-English New Testament - Baker
King James Version Bible – KJV
Mysteries of the Bible – Readers Digest
Nave’s Topical Bible - Zondervan
New International Dictionary of the Bible; The – Douglas - Tenney
New International Version Bible – NIV
Thru the Bible – J. Vernon McGee
Who’s Who in the Bible – Paul D. Gardner
Wikipedia –
Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible; The – Tenney



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